Everything you say makes sense, yet I couldn’t ‘make’ my musical son involve himself with lessons and study. Attitudes from School and peers had more influence than did I. The result as you suggested was involvement with marijuana and alcohol, hatred of organisation and school attendance. My beautiful son ended his life at 39 years – we could not reach him. Reasoning did not work. I sincerely hope you can hold influence within your family. A birth in 1963 presented so many difficulties for parents which we were unprepared for. I am a failed parent musician who could not hold influence the way you are able to. May music thrive and hold your family together.